Measuring up: Dee Kantner has gained the respect of Atlanta's Dikembe Mutombo and many other NBA players throughout her two seasons in the league.

But, near the end of her second season, Kantner says those barriers are fewer and less imposing.  "Whether it's delusion or not, I feel pretty much accepted -- as much as a referee can be accepted," Kanter said after an appearance as a panelist at the Women's Sports Foundation summit. "I don't feel singled out being a woman. ... From the fans, every once in a while you hear something gender specific, but you tolerate that from fans." Things weren't so low key during Kantner's first few games, when her mere presence seemed big news. "I was afraid to scratch," she said. "Every time I turned around there was a camera." Kantner's appearance at the summit was a rare chance to see the vibrant personality behind the polyester-dressed, pony-tailed official on the court.

The NBA generally does not make referees available for interviews, so everything about the 38-year-old woman -- the brown hair flowing past her shoulders, the rings on the fingers, the quick wit and behind-the-scenes stories -- were new to much of the audience.  "Did I want to be an NBA official?" she said, throwing a funny face. "No! Absolutely not. I'm an engineer by vocation. I worked 13 years in the corporate life."

Kantner moonlighted most of those years working women's college basketball, including NCAA Final Four games. The NBA called in 1995 and invited her and Palmer to camp. After being assured it wasn't a publicity gimmick, Kantner showed up and had to deal with her novelty value right away when a player cursed her twice in her first game on her first day.

The first offense drew a technical foul. Then the player said, profanely: "What's a women doing on the floor anyway?" Palmer stayed calm and said: "I am. You're not. You're gone. I threw him. I had to. It was the first time in 15 years I had thrown someone out of a game," Palmer said. "He was testing me. They were testing me. What's a woman doing at an NBA camp anyway?  "Word got out quickly. I didn't have to be tough anymore. They realized I had a sense of humor. We had fun. By the end of camp, they were calling me 'Legs' and who knows what else."

Four years on, Kantner is simply one of the crew. "I didn't even notice her," Washington guard Chris Whitney said after Kantner worked a Cavaliers-Wizards game Thursday night. "I think the referee does a good job when you don't notice they're out there, and we didn't notice her tonight." In fact, Kantner's horror stories come mostly from her college days, when male referees would show her up by making calls in her area or patronize her with comments such as "I'll protect you, little lady." More than once, there were heated exchanges in the officials' locker room at halftime.

"Is everyone going to be wonderful to you? Absolutely not," she said. "You have to figure out who will be, who won't be, and take control of things you can take control of yourself -- know the rules, maintain fitness, get your reports in on time." Kantner took out an eye chart and a "three blind refs" T-shirt that friends had given her at a college game. "Internally, I think it's very important to have a sense of humor," she said. "You take yourself too seriously, you're not going to last." Although she never dreamed of being an NBA ref, Kantner says she has an 'incredible passion' for the job and would like to see more female colleagues join the ranks. Her advice to her audience: Climb the ladder the right way -- with hard work.

"You don't need to flirt with the guys to get an assignment," Kantner said. "Nothing will drive us crazier. Those of us who have worked our butts off and sweated and done all the right things, you're setting us back. We don't want women to be recognized for that."